When I was 19, I had the fabulously fortuitous experience of spending 6 months living in Italy. I ate, drank and tried to smoke (unsuccessfully!) like an Italian. Looking back, I am pretty sure I was depressed in my first month or so there, although we called it “culture shock” back then. I slept a hell of a lot and was desperately missing my friends, family and freedom (I was living with an Italian host family and went back to high-school, so had all of a sudden become a kid again). After a while though, I settled into life there and embraced the rich culture and incredible experiences Italy offered. Hello pasta, wine, gelato, midday naps and churches. Hello soccer matches, Sunday strolls, handsome men and vespa rides!
When the 6 months was over, I was so looking forward to coming home, to going back to my Australian life, my car and my friends. However, upon my return, I realised that I had come back into my familiar environment as an entirely different person. I had changed and grown, and my regular life simply had not – I just didn’t fit anymore.
However, upon my return, I realised that I had come back into my familiar environment as an entirely different person. I had changed and grown, and my regular life simply had not – I just didn’t fit anymore.
After some research, I discovered the name of psychological experience I was having. It was called Reverse Culture Shock. “Reverse culture shock is the emotional and psychological distress suffered by some people when they return home after extensive time overseas. This can result in unexpected difficulty in readjusting to the culture and values of the home country, now that the previously familiar has become unfamiliar.”
I have been reflecting on this lately as, here in Victoria, we look towards Covid19 restrictions being lifted as we move out of lockdown and return to a more familiar way of life. I have this very odd internal conflict; I want the lockdown to lift but I am a little terrified of going back to “normal”.
I have this very odd internal conflict; I want the lockdown to lift but I am a little terrified of going back to “normal”.
After 6 months, we have all adapted to this once-strange way of life. A life that is slower and simpler. That is what we humans do so well, we adapt – even when the scenario we find ourselves in is not fun or even healthy. Collectively, we have been through such trauma this year, that we will be irrevocably changed – we will re-enter our once-familiar “normal”, but we will be different. Individually, each of us has faced our own challenges, with our own flavor of emotions ranging from grief to anger but always underpinned by fear.
My terror ranges from worrying about wearing pants with zips and buttons again, to fear around how I will re-establish my social life, to trepidation when I think about going back to the pace of pre-lockdown life with playdates and after-school activities and family catch ups and work travel. Of course, these fears are completely irrational but, fear can be like that. Fear can take hold of us and whisk us away in its dramatic dance and offer us the illusion of security and control. The truth is, we can’t control anything and, we never really could.
Fear can take hold of us and whisk us away in its dramatic dance and offer us the illusion of security and control. The truth is, we can’t control anything and, we never really could.
So, as we (ever so slowly) move towards a version of our “normal” lives, let’s be really gentle with ourselves and with each other. We have changed and grown over the past months (for better or for worse) and as such, the transition back into a version of pre-Covid life is likely to range from feeling shocking or depressing to simply a little uncomfortable, for many of us.
Let’s talk about our fears, as irrational and confusing as they may seem, for through sharing these confusing and conflicting experiences, we feel less alone. And once again, we remember that we belong to each other. We remember that we are, in fact, not crazy, we are just human. We are just beautiful humans trying to adapt and trying to make sense of a rather senseless world.
We remember that we are, in fact, not crazy, we are just human. We are just beautiful humans trying to adapt and trying to make sense of a rather senseless world.
Of course, at 19, I eventually re-adjusted to life here in Australia – where we don’t nap in the middle of the day or go for meandering strolls on a Sunday afternoon. I reintegrated back into my “normal” life. We, with kindness and patience and gentleness (and a touch of humour) will do the same as we enter this “Covid normal” world. Side by side (socially-distanced, of course).